Why does it matter how many partners a woman or a man has had in her/his past? But we all ask or care about it—to the extent that we find ways to sometimes ask about a person’s past without really wanting the person to know what we are doing.
In life, our past serves as a guide to some of the things we will do in the future—it guides us to avoid certain things or to know what to eat and what not. You cannot ignore a past experience and therefore you cannot totally ignore the past of a person, especially if you cannot measure with a lie detector whatever the new person is telling you.
When we meet people in life, we play catch up by asking a lot of questions about their past to know some of the things we missed in the person’s previous life—and I mean, we take keen interest in the person’s past.
Some people may have brilliant past and these people may not have problems sharing them—even that, there would always be those pothole moments. And some people may have had some dark days in their lives; having done some really silly or bad things difficult of telling.
For me, it’s always good to let the new person you’ve met and believe fits your want to know the whole you—the past and the future; and that includes, telling the person everything to avoid any future shocks.
I know of relationships which have broken up because the woman or man later found out certain shocking information about their partner—and I wouldn’t advise anyone to take that risk. It’s better taking an earlier risk.
But talking to your new partner is not the problem here—a lot of people agree that should be done to enable the person to know the sort of person you are or what he or she is ‘buying’ into.
The difficult question worth discussing is; should the past really matter to the one hearing it? Especially when the person says he or she has changed?
Does the past of your partner matter to you and to what extent is it your concern? Would you tell someone new you meet the whole truth about your past including those ‘dark’ things you’ve done?
Let’s get talking…
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